Parental Guidance : Explicit Blogging

I was reading my usual regular online newspapers, as I do most mornings, and a few ideas came to mind for a blog post. One of those was for the 90th birthday of Prince Phillip and my first thought was a small post based around the following joke.

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What do you get a 90 year old prince who has everything for his birthday?

Nothing as he is a rich, privileged, and racist F%#k.

Upon writing a rough draft I noticed an odd quirk in my writing style that I am sure has appeared in some of my other previous posts. I self censor swearing in my articles. I am convinced that at the time of writing I thought it was just a humorous way to depict swearing in my posts, but I think the truth is much more lame. I am uncomfortable with swearing on my blog and I am not completely sure as to why this is the case. I have no trouble swearing in real life so I would have thought swearing at strangers on the internet would be much easier. Apparently not.


“Well, hididdlyho, all you Mutha-F%#kas’!”

Perhaps now that I am a middle aged father of two I have, at least from a superficial external facade, become the incarnation of the father from Leave It To Beaver and feel a need to give the impression of being an upstanding member of society. I can see only two options here given the current situation. The first being that I accept my reluctance to offend online strangers and hope that my censoring style still provides enough of a clue as to what words I was trying to convey. The second option is to start swearing at strangers in all contexts, be it online via my blog or just in any real life situation. I know my regular bus driver already hates me so why not start swearing at him to further our blossoming relationship. F%#k yeah, that sounds like fun!


About Ape No. 1

This famous lowland gorilla was born on July 4, 1971, in San Francisco. He was a gorilla who mastered over 2,000 words in American Blog Language, allowing him to communicate with humans in an astounding way. Some people felt that he was simply making blogs without understanding their real meanings, in order to receive treats and rewards from his readers.
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2 Responses to Parental Guidance : Explicit Blogging

  1. I don’t mind swearing. I find no offense in it at all, but it just has never seemed to fit my personality. I rarely swear in conversation and I rarely include it in my writing. It just feels forced.

    • Ape No. 1 says:

      Firstly, thank you for the comment Mr Greatsby. My very first in my newly commenced blogging journey! I am flattered that you are actually reading my mad ramblings.

      I fall short of being the gentlemen in the smoking hot smoking jacket that I was witness to on your post. I unfortunately suffer from an incurable affliction called being an Australian which, in terms of symptons, is similar to a Tourette’s sufferer with a drinking problem. I have decided to restrict the saucy language to the pub and my morning bus trips, and keep my blog a formal dress code affair.

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