Length Does Not Matter … As Long As Mine Is Bigger

I have been reading my older posts on my other Blogger site in an attempt to work out what works and what doesn’t in terms of producing a humorous article. I have, up until now, made it a no holds barred bullshit fest. Whilst I think there are some funny ideas and observations in there, I feel that many of these are lost in my attempt to produce a more substantial article over and beyond just a single sentence headline style of post. Unfortunately for many of my posts, by the time you arrive at the end of the article, it is obvious that the idea has been milked dry and it stops being funny.


I am trying to improve my process of writing and refine what I finally present to readers.

Another thing I have noticed is my use, or abuse, of random images throughout my articles. What usually happens when I am writing a post is that I will go hunting through Google images to find a related image to help break up the text, but I will stumble upon an unrelated image and think of a funny, at least I think it is funny at the time, caption to put under the image. Unfortunately it is often unrelated to the main story so not only does it detract from the main post, but the image and caption lose their impact as they feel obviously out of place.

t u r d

I fear that my choice of random pictures in my posts may distract readers from the real message.

I am struggling to find time to create posts but I believe it is due to the fact that I am trying to produce significant articles which, given my inexperience at writing, is not something I am ready to do just yet. What I am going to try is instead of stuffing a large random collection of thoughts and images into a single post, I will break up my posts into smaller articles. I may even just create tiny posts that consist of a single image with a caption. I can’t imagine that my posts on Blogger could be any stranger so what do I have to lose.


I swear I will avoid using random images in my posts from now on. If not, I will give the command for glasses guy to rip out this canines heart. He’ll do it I swear. Wait a minute. Is this a random image? NOOOO!!!


About Ape No. 1

This famous lowland gorilla was born on July 4, 1971, in San Francisco. He was a gorilla who mastered over 2,000 words in American Blog Language, allowing him to communicate with humans in an astounding way. Some people felt that he was simply making blogs without understanding their real meanings, in order to receive treats and rewards from his readers.
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4 Responses to Length Does Not Matter … As Long As Mine Is Bigger

  1. HoaiPhai says:

    Dear Ape No. 1, There are a few logical flaws to what you have said in this post… first, if the milking is what is drawing out the humour, then how can you continue to write once the dairy juices stop flowing? The logical conclusion is that your posts are funny (although, to be fair, this is the only post of yours I’ve read so far but I wholely intend on returning and reading the rest of your stuff to test the validity of my logic), BECAUSE you have continued to write them.

    Second, I have yet to see a blog where there is a cohesive theme that spans all its posts, so randomness seems to be inherent to successful blogs. Doesn’t it follow that elements of individual posts (such as images) should also be random to hold the whole thing together? It certainly works in this post of yours. And I wish to thank you for bringing this fact to my attention because randomness of images is lacking from my posts, some of which have never been read by anyone (according to the site stats), in spite of my attempts to milk the subject dryer than James Bond’s martini.

    Keep up the good work!

  2. Ape No. 1 says:

    Thanks for the positive words HoaiPhai. Interestingly, I made my first attempt the other morning to create a more “polished” post but ended up still placing a random image at the end as it didn’t feel complete to me without it. I guess that the randomness is a reflection of my own thought process and that is not going to change anytime soon.

  3. Random is good, that is why I came here in the first place 🙂 don’t change a thing Ape 🙂

    • Ape No. 1 says:

      I am discovering that I am unable to change even if I try. Could be worse I suppose. I could be serious and professional and lead a grown up life. The very thought of that gives me the chills.

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