Blog Trouble in Little China

I am currently in Beijing, for the purposes of some work related management training, and I have just discovered something quite interesting. Beijing is in China! Well I sort of already knew that bit but what had not quite registered with me until yesterday was that I may not be able to access all of my usual sites as many are blocked in China. Again I kind of knew that too but specifically I had not bothered to check to see if Blogger was one of those sites. I can now confidently confirm, from the comfort of my lonely hotel room, that Blogger is indeed blocked from within China. I am sure that you are all probably impressed with my Holmes like discovery of information which was first released in 1996.

My attempts to push a Blogger post through the Great Wall have proven futile. I am sure if I remain stuck here staring at the internet police long enough with sad puppy dog eyes, they will relent and let me through. Either that or begin throwing custard cream pies at me … or small artillery shells.

I was feeling the need yesterday to unleash some more ill prepared and hastily cobbled together crap on the unsuspecting digital community. I can only pretend to be a mature business type of adult for very short stints until I start feeling a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde type of transformation coming on. The difference being that instead of turning into a slobbering murderous beast, I turn into a ridiculous monstrosity exclaiming obscure facts such as

“Speaking of successful IT organisations, did you know that the TV show Punky Brewster finished on the exact same day as the release of Microsoft Windows 2.1. Coincidence? Hmm?”

I would then cover my face with my hands and run out of the room with my now large and elongated red shoes squeaking with every awkward stride I take up the corridor.

Hmm, that’s very interesting. Improved sales figures and increasing gross margins. Right on it. Principles of collective performance. Yes I understand. When can we talk about poop? Oh, I see. Well how about after lunch then?

I suppose I will need to wait until I am back on local shores before I can post to my other blog. I did have a few ideas for some posts this week but I am sure some new and wonderful events will emerge which will provide me with some other ideas at this later date. For now, I will take the current ideas that I had, give them a kiss on their fishy lips, and then toss them back out into the internet sea for someone else to catch and make use of. Good luck little fishy ideas. May the bullshit be with you. Always.

t d

I guess my post centred around the arrest warrant issued for Muammar Gaddafi for his love ballad crimes against humanity will have to be relinquished back into the wild. I will tag him but not bag him as they say.


About Ape No. 1

This famous lowland gorilla was born on July 4, 1971, in San Francisco. He was a gorilla who mastered over 2,000 words in American Blog Language, allowing him to communicate with humans in an astounding way. Some people felt that he was simply making blogs without understanding their real meanings, in order to receive treats and rewards from his readers.
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5 Responses to Blog Trouble in Little China

  1. You should have asked me. I’m in Shanghai and could have given you a full breakdown of what would and wouldn’t work.

    • Ape No. 1 says:

      I am assuming you mean blogging technology and not blog humor as I have some inkling to the latter. Thank you for the generous offer and I will most likely take up the offer for your advice as I am here for a little while still.

  2. HoaiPhai says:

    Wow, an international ape, just like Lance Link! Have you considered writing a how-to post about pretending to be a mature business type of adult? I’m in dire need of help in this department.

    • Ape No. 1 says:

      I can not claim to be anywhere near as cool as the Link. I really like your idea for a post. It may end up providing no practical advice, but it may be some fun to produce. If this idea turns into a post I will let you share in the inevitable spoils I will make from this. I think I can hear Anthony Robbins calling now with cheque book in hand. Scratch that. My kids were just shouting out Baskin Robbins.

      • HoaiPhai says:

        No practical advice is the unspoken theme of all I write and say. If this idea ever takes off and you go on the lecture circuit, maybe you could have The Evolution Revolution as your warm-up band. When you were in China, did you have any trouble with drop-pandas? A little hoisin sauce on the old bean will keep ’em away, you know.

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