Leaving Blog Vegas

You look great tonight Blogger blog. I see you are wearing that same post I gave you nearly a month ago. Still suits you. I know I have not visited you for nearly a month but things have changed recently. I have changed. What? Am I visiting another blogging site? What would make you think that crazy notion. Oh. This actual post is on another blogging site. Ok, you got me but it’s not what you think. It’s different here.

It’s me not you. Well it kind of is you but I didn’t want to mention your tired and dated face. Ow! That hurt. What did I say.

I have thought about this considerably and the only option I see, as any other caring couple would also decide, is to cryogenically freeze you until I can be arsed to post to you again. Of course I will come back for you but could you just make that Han Solo pose whilst I push this “More Dessert” button. There we go. Now to close the lid on this big freezer and place a do not open until 2017 sticker on the top and we are done. That went smoother than I thought it would.

Don’t you readers give me that look. It was for the best and there is a very good chance that I may consider thinking about possibly unfreezing that blog (with fingers crossed behind my back) at some point.

Alright my mostly male Google+ friends, I have left a link to my frozen Blogger blog here in the Google+ world but please do not open it. The amount of crap held within is too much to expose to the WordPress community in a single hit. It is best if we leave it for future generations where perhaps enhancements in computers and bio-engineering will make it more plausible to release such large concentrated levels of bullshit into the environment.

Man this frozen blog is amazing. I don’t believe I have ever seen such a concentration of bad 80’s movie and television quotes before. So many posts written in the passive voice and he can not spell for shiet. We should consider unfreezing it to revise these posts.

So from now on expect nothing short of brilliance for my future posts on this WordPress blog now that I have removed the burden of my Blogger blog. With all that extra time I hope you will be dazzled with the glory of these new premier posts. Either that or I will continue to post these random mad ramblings at unreliable intervals.

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About Ape No. 1

This famous lowland gorilla was born on July 4, 1971, in San Francisco. He was a gorilla who mastered over 2,000 words in American Blog Language, allowing him to communicate with humans in an astounding way. Some people felt that he was simply making blogs without understanding their real meanings, in order to receive treats and rewards from his readers.
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One Response to Leaving Blog Vegas

  1. HoaiPhai says:

    I’ve been tinkering with a similar idea. I used to have a website that contained all kinds of the same BS my readers here on WordPress have learned to ignore, only more so, and I have been thinking about recycling some of the things from them because, frankly, I’m stupidly proud of them. I am asamed to be ignorant of your work before The Simian Monologues and would probably be enriched by these archival pieces. Also, my native format for reading is in the passive voice so I look forward to them with bated retinas.

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