I Wear My BlogGlasses At Night

Captain’s Blog, Star-date 1709.11. It has been 14 earth days since our last transmission to the general populous and expectations will be high for this latest communique. Of course myself and the Simian Monologues crew have been using our time wisely to produce a post that truly reflects the efforts that have been put in during this treacherous and long two week bullshit seeking expedition. Sulu, make a course for … {dramatic music} … The Best Post Ever!!!

Listen Harry, of course this post will be all that Ape No. 1 has promised. It will be heart felt, well researched and scattered with relevant images that help tell the story. Now you and Ron should just sit back and enjoy the rest of the post that he has prepared for us all.

Now before I go further with this post let me clarify what I meant by “The Best Post Ever!!!” bit. Perhaps I may have set expectations a little high. What I actually meant was that as usual I am putting some crap together at the last moment and there is every chance that this post will be a dud. I seem to be only able to blog late at night when everyone in the household, aside from myself, is asleep. I have had other opportunities to blog In the last two weeks, many of those during waking hours, but they have been fruitless. In fact the only thing I did salvage was an attempt I made to do a humorous top ten style post in a feature I wanted to call “Ape’s Top Ten”. This is what I came up with.

Ape’s Top Ten

Top Ten Things I Hate About Top Ten Lists

  1. You need to think of ten things
  2. You need to think of ten things

I think you can guess the rest.

You are kidding me. I waited in the WordPress line for two weeks in anticipation of this blog and this is the bollocks he gives us. At least I still have my dignity, and like my other close friends, a strong dislike of wearing conventional hats.

I don’t mind the idea of having the odd feature like a top ten in my posts. It might help, given my approach of putting stuff together at the last moment, if I had some standard format posts that I could just fill in occasionally. I have a few ideas in mind now that I think about it a little more. I will try some new ideas out on my unwitting readers in the coming weeks to see if any of these are going work out. Stay tuned.

The Best Post Ever deserves an awesome Die Hard style explosive ending and what better than an image of a guy who has just dug a hole. I may have added some explosive style effects but I am sure that is what this dude was imagining when he posed for this picture.


About Ape No. 1

This famous lowland gorilla was born on July 4, 1971, in San Francisco. He was a gorilla who mastered over 2,000 words in American Blog Language, allowing him to communicate with humans in an astounding way. Some people felt that he was simply making blogs without understanding their real meanings, in order to receive treats and rewards from his readers.
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3 Responses to I Wear My BlogGlasses At Night

  1. HoaiPhai says:

    Well, I’m sold! This is the gratest blog ever told!

    I’m glad you didn’t venture too far into the Top Ten thing…those lists always depress me. Even if the ultimate thing is what I would have put in the #1 position, I aways think to myself “If the Americans can put a man on the Moon, why couldn’t they come up with something better as the top anti-chigger creme?” [or whatever the list is about] And if I didn’t agree with the author’s choice before I read the list, I feel like a cretin because some dude I never met before changed my mind in ten lines or less. And if I still disagree after seeing the other guy’s lst, I think what a dumb world this is that this guy’s miniscule insight still gets him a paycheque but I’m here collecting boogers from the rich and famous hoping that one day people will pay through the nose [get it?] for my treasures.

    I prefer the Bottom Ten Lists… it makes me feel all warm and glowy knowing that we, as a civilization, have come up with oodles of stuff better than the junk on the list.

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