Bonus Mid-Week Post : Bill Gates v2.0

International leaders gathered in France last week to launch the new more philanthropic version of billionaire Bill Gates, code named Gates v2.0, or more commonly known as G20. The G20 summit event was attended by dignitaries from around the world and gave the eager crowd a glimpse of the exciting new features on their way with the G20 release. Rumors had been running wild with various theories on what the new version would bring but finally these rumors could be either debunked or confirmed.

“And then he told Ape No. 1 that he thought a cute little bunny rabbit would actually beat the mighty Easter duck. Can you imagine that, with his little fluffy tail and two little furry ears actually beating the fearsome duck. Hahaha!”. Shut it Obama, that was last week’s post but more importantly that battle was not real it was just some crap that I made up. You have no sense of what is real or not Obama.

One of the main features of the new Gates v2.0 device is the reduction in wealth capacity storage by 30% which is rumored to be eventually reduced by a massive 95% in a future model. The G20 device’s wealth capacity is now a staggeringly minuscule $56 billion US. A controversial change is with the camera which has had it’s earlier models poor people filter removed allowing it to take photos that actually capture and store images of people earning less than $1 million US. Previous models would filter out individuals of a particular socioeconomic status which allowed the device owners to feel a little more comfortable walking around with their expensive electronic device. This feature may be short lived if customer feedback is negative.

Un-researched Identity Man: Are you the dude that the iPhone was named after?
Bill : Hmm, no.
Un-researched Identity Man: Do you know him?
Bill : Hmm, no no no … {Crash – Blue Screen}

The Bill Gates v2.0 has heaps cooler sh@t than that lame iPhone 4S and is invisible to anyone who is either an idiot, Mac user, or Android user and definitely does exist. A price for the new device was not announced but an insider reports that prices will start at about $1 million US.

Of course it exists. I can see it. Can you?

The technology community has … has … has {Crash – Blue Screen}

“Sorry readers but this post has suffered a divide by zero error and as you can see behind me we have blue screened again. We are just going to reboot this post and see what that …”

This Post has terminated unexpectedly. Please report this issue with the error code to Ape No. 1.

Error Code 5318008


About Ape No. 1

This famous lowland gorilla was born on July 4, 1971, in San Francisco. He was a gorilla who mastered over 2,000 words in American Blog Language, allowing him to communicate with humans in an astounding way. Some people felt that he was simply making blogs without understanding their real meanings, in order to receive treats and rewards from his readers.
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One Response to Bonus Mid-Week Post : Bill Gates v2.0

  1. HoaiPhai says:

    I’d love one of those cameras… then I’d be able to take pictures of crowds, see who’s well-to-do, and recuit a “ritchie” for my son to marry! Er, would you happen to know if v. 2.0 is available as an upgrade patch off the torrents? My v 1.0 is a pirated copy.

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