World shark experts remain stumped that despite the level of knowledge we now have on these prehistoric killers of the deep, the general public is still scared of these 20 foot long soulless monsters that reside in our vast and mostly unknown oceans. Christopher Neff, a shark expert from the University of Sydney is carrying out a Phd on what he terms ”shark bite incidents”. The following key extracts from the article provide some welcome reassuring words for those that wish to enjoy their swims at Australia’s lovely beaches without the burden of fear weighing heavily on their shoulders that any point in time a razor sharp set of jaws will leap up and out of the water devouring it’s prey in swift and bloody precision.
ROGUE sharks exist
develops a taste for human flesh
fatal encounters with these apex predators of the sea
Shark bites are scary
occasionally devouring human prey
humans provide low nutrition
sharks wanted to attack people
‘evidence sharks will attack man is complete’
Hopefully more articles like this can be provided to the public by such key experts to help allay unwarranted fears. Perhaps the next could be along the lines of “Spiders – Love Bites From Beneath Your Toilet Seat” or “Snakes – Not All Of Us Can Swallow You Whole”.
The Simian Monologues 
Funny stuff. I look forward to reading more.
Glad you enjoyed it. Until the men in the white coats come crashing through my front door, I will hopefully continue to post more nonsense.
It is baffling. How do these people get away with it year after year?
Perhaps the general public has an irrational fear of experts.
If people would only avoid the prawn-flavoured sunscreen maybe the sharks would leave them alone!
Prawn-flavoured sunscreen is technically a marinade but one could say the same thing about most popular coconut based sunscreens. Cracked me up that you thought up the concept of a prawn based lotion.