LMFAO – Learning My F@# king Ass Off


An Australian university has recently conducted a study showing that social networking technology, such as Twitter, could be beneficial for shy students who under normal circumstances find it difficult to ask questions in class. Southern Cross University lecturer Jeremy Novak said in a statement posted to his twitter account @LearnOrGTFO

imao, kibo, mtfbwy. hdylta!

(In my arrogant opinion, knowledge in bullsh@t out, may the force be with you. How do you like them apples!)

Other institutions have also taken to the approach of using modern technology to better engage the socially inept uber nerds with game platforms such as World Of Warcraft.


This approach has proven successful in getting kids to be more involved in their education. Important topics such as the understanding of racial differences between Orcs and humans and the Corrupted Blood plague incident of Patch v1.7 are giving our kids the right tools to be successful in their future endeavors.

“Haha. Mr Jones is making all of the pretty people play WoW with me. This is just like my recurring dream except that here I have a legal obligation to always wear pants.”

This is not the first time that an indirect approach to teacher-student communications has been used in our classrooms for shy students, with some attempts dating back many hundreds of years. Very few though have enjoyed any real success. The following is a collection of numerous attempts from throughout history to help the shy student.


Whilst easy on the Education Department’s budget, this approach was abandoned after the teachers and the other normal students realized that they did not really care what the shy students were saying and wanted a more discreet way of ignoring these less confident and less glamorous of pupils than simply telling them to STFU.

Paper Airplane

This particular approach was short-lived for many reasons but on a positive note was responsible for a small boom in the eyepatch industry during the early 1800’s.

Robotic Teachers

“Hey guys come and check this out! If you press her cheek here it opens up her mouth and her head starts to vibrate. What kind of stupid useless feature is that for a robot!” – This particular Japanese robot was recalled from schools after if was discovered that the mouth fed coffee bean grinder would eventually overheat and catch fire. Coffee making capabilities were removed from future models.

Proxy Arithmetic Horse

This approach was very successful in the field of mathematics but eventually it was banned from most colleges after suspicions of these proxy arithmetic horses taking student’s places during inter-school track and field days. There was never enough evidence to confirm these suspicions. Coincidently during this period a number of track and field records were broken that to this day are proving near impossible to beat.

Telepathic Cat

The use of a telepathic cat was from the start a controversial and difficult program to rollout. These felines were difficult to train as they had an uncanny knack for knowing exactly what the trainer did not want them to do. Many students complained of blacking out during classes only to then wake up with the faint taste of kitty litter in their mouths.

Question Delivery Hawk

This approach was touted by many shy students as the ultimate solution to the problem and did appear to be effective. Unfortunately the Education Department felt that it made these quiet losers look too Bad Ass as they walked around school yards with a bird of prey perched boldly on their forearms. The program was shutdown a mere two months after it’s commencement.


This approach was popular in the 90’s where a student would outsource their learning to a call center student. This approach was stopped after 5 years when it was discovered that this program resulted in highly educated call center workers who would then leave for further study and highly paid executive jobs leaving the original student with few options but to look for a low education job in a call center.

With society and technology constantly evolving one can only imagine what other doomed-to-failure approach researchers will be proposing in the future to address the dilemma of kids not enjoying school. One of Mr Novak’s students summarized the topic nicely by tweeting his enthusiasm for the university program.

“School can ESAD”


About Ape No. 1

This famous lowland gorilla was born on July 4, 1971, in San Francisco. He was a gorilla who mastered over 2,000 words in American Blog Language, allowing him to communicate with humans in an astounding way. Some people felt that he was simply making blogs without understanding their real meanings, in order to receive treats and rewards from his readers.
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7 Responses to LMFAO – Learning My F@# king Ass Off

  1. Brad says:

    How about gentle question delivery pigeons that report back to call centre monkeys with individual twitter accounts that are linked to touch-sensitive mechanisms installed in strategically placed robotic teachers on campus that dispense fortune cookies with unique student ID targeted responses printed on origami paper airplanes? That could work!

    • Ape No. 1 says:

      My only concern would be that the responses from the fortune cookies would be shrouded in Confucius style mystique and obscurity. For example if the student was asking about the classic theory of relativity Einstein moving train example the response could be something like

      “Word to the wise: Don’t play leapfrog with a unicorn”
      “You are about to become $8.95 poorer. ($6.95 if you had the buffet)”

  2. A teacher who cares says:

    I am so surprised with the reaction to this article in a newspaper. I’m further astounded about the obvious lack of investigation into this research from those people who have stated that they are a Dr. or teacher and who have made ill in formed comments on the Internet about their research.
    As a high school teacher I went to the conference where I saw these two presenters Jeremy Novak and Michael Cowling, talk about their research. Their presentation utilised a ticker bar on the PowerPoint slides, and we could enter a # tag and asked questions or make comments that were displayed on the PowerPoint slides. I and others were extremely interested and impressed by their research.
    They made it very clear that the implementation of Twitter into the PowerPoint slides was to see if international and shy students would engage in class. They did emphas ise throughout the presentation that this was another way for the student to give feedback and ask questions on the PowerPoint slides and in turn help build their confidence to start asking questions verbally.
    As Jeremy Novak from Southern Cross University stated in the Courier mail article “We don’t see Twitter replacing actual class participation or interaction, but it could be a very valuable tool to add to the teacher’s toolbox.”
    I have further looked into the use of this technology for my year 10 students and after having conversations with one of the researchers, it’s is clear that these tweets are used in class and students tweet the PowerPoint slides and not me. As I do not need to set up a personal Twitter account to receive any of the tweets that are displayed on the PowerPoint slide, the issue of impropriety is negated.

    For all teachers and parents who may read this, please do your own investigation into what these researchers have said about the implementation of Twitter into the classroom and what other researchers and educators are saying about using technology in a positive way into the classroom in 2012. I also suggest you have a look around at your students and see how many of them are using the technology and take the step forward into the 21st century.
    I hope this stimulates some positive and informed debate.

  3. HoaiPhai says:

    When I was a young lad, it seemed like the most outgoing of my classmates regularly consumed alcohol, marijuana, and steroids (usually a given kid would specialize in one of the three therapies). In spite of not having twitter way back then, I’d say we we had out share of social go-getters who are now leaders of industry, government, and quizz show hosts.

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