A Rolling Stone Gathers No Politically Sensitive Intel


The British government has finally confirmed allegations from Russia that it had been spying on the large European nation via the use of fake Rocks. For many years members of Russia’s FSB security service had been making claims that it possessed evidence that these faux Rocks were being used to gather intelligence by British government agents but this has been been disputed by the British until now. A recent documentary has disclosed the details of how sensitive information was exchanged via these fake Rocks during a time when tensions between the British and Russian governments were high.

One of the many fake Rocks, shown on the right, who spent many years embedded in Russia without raising any suspicions due to their disciplined and consistent approach to saying comrade at the end of every sentence they spoke.

When asked about his indirect role in the British spying activities, American actor and former wrestler Dwayne Johnson kissed each of his flexed biceps and shouted

“The Rock is going to lay the smack down all over your candy ass … er comrade.”

Layeth the smacketh down … er comradeth.


About Ape No. 1

This famous lowland gorilla was born on July 4, 1971, in San Francisco. He was a gorilla who mastered over 2,000 words in American Blog Language, allowing him to communicate with humans in an astounding way. Some people felt that he was simply making blogs without understanding their real meanings, in order to receive treats and rewards from his readers.
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8 Responses to A Rolling Stone Gathers No Politically Sensitive Intel

  1. Brad says:

    I laughed on first reading. Not sure why now. Does it matter? Cool bananas.

    • Ape No. 1 says:

      I kept it short as I thought the fake Rock gag could only take a post so far and it appears that the distance is apparently about the length of time it takes for a first reading and not much more 🙂

  2. The Rock……Loved it!

    • Ape No. 1 says:

      Thanks GFB! I am not sure what it says about my mental state but a fake Dwayne Johnson was the first thing that popped into my head when I initially read this news article.

  3. He was on the TV last week in a film called Gridiron Gang or somesuch – truly woeful and therefore compelling – never seen such a wooden rock before.

  4. HoaiPhai says:

    Har! You got me! I read the title and thought I was in for another post about AutoTune!

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