When Life Imitates Crap


Last week the FBI conducted a series of coordinated raids at multiple NASA locations confiscating documents and seizing servers in a well executed strike that had been in the planning phase for the last three years. The FBI had been working closely with members of the international film industry over allegations that many of the projects undertaken by NASA appeared to follow too closely the plots of many Hollywood blockbuster films. The film industry claims that these blatant violations of copyright infringements have been costing the film industry upwards of $10 Billion US in revenues over the last ten years. The FBI decided finally to act after the most recent announcement by NASA of a “Waterworld” planet which had been discovered that according to the researchers was “Like no planet we know of.” implying that the idea of this “Waterworld” had not originated within NASA.

Authorities load NASA suspects onto awaiting buses to be taken away for further questioning. Allegedly NASA’s adminstrator, Charles F. Bolden, Jr., had over 100 space and apocalypse related DVDs in the back of his company vehicle. When confronted by FBI personnel, Bolden claimed that he was not intending to watch the videos himself but was instead only planning to copy them so that he could upload them to Megaupload.

NASA officials have refuted the copyright infringement claims and in a formal statement posted on their website said the following.

“What the f@#k is wrong with you people. Who gives a flying f@#k that some douche bag actor made a film about a planet mostly covered in water. It was a s#@t film anyway and, if you have not actually noticed, the film is fictional and this planet is actually real. Are you going to attack the Mars program as well? Holy s@#t, you are aren’t you?”

The FBI highlighted that NASA had clearly accepted the fact that the film Waterworld preceded the discovery of the new planet by NASA and that this online statement was about as close to an admission of guilt as one could expect from the large space agency.

Artists like Kevin Costner have been vocal advocates in the fight against scientific and medical based institutions blatantly stealing ideas from film production groups around the world such as the Hollywood industry.

Kevin Costner, known for his outstanding films such Waterworld, The Postman, and The Big Chill (scenes deleted), praised the actions of the FBI stating that on too many occasions had the intellectual property of artists been ransacked and exploited by organizations such as NASA and it was about time that a strong message be sent out to the wider scientific community. The NASA case is not the first of it’s kind with a similar copyright infringement case against the U.C. Davis Cancer Centre resulting in the centre being successfully prosecuted for it’s nano-technology based research into a cancer cure pill that had been clearly inspired by the Star Trek movie, Star Trek IV – The Voyage Home.

At a first court appearance the judge refused the directors of NASA bail claiming that they were a high flight risk and could, given their ready access to interstellar travel, delay the trial by many months just with complications of having to track them down outside of Earth’s orbit.


About Ape No. 1

This famous lowland gorilla was born on July 4, 1971, in San Francisco. He was a gorilla who mastered over 2,000 words in American Blog Language, allowing him to communicate with humans in an astounding way. Some people felt that he was simply making blogs without understanding their real meanings, in order to receive treats and rewards from his readers.
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4 Responses to When Life Imitates Crap

  1. HoaiPhai says:

    What do you expect from an agency that has an acronym for a name that means “Not Able to Scheme Alone”? I should have seen this planetary plagiarism coming from a light-year away because they’ve done it before. Remember the Bond flick “Diamonds Are Forever”? How about “The Spy Who Loved Me”? The design for Jaws’ titanium teeth was stolen by NASA, slightly modified, and was used as the template for game show hosts’ teeth ever since!

  2. edrevets says:

    On a slightly related note, I think Nicolas Cage heads an organization whose sole aim is to prevent scientific progress and good acting.

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