For the handful of you who have been waiting with bated breath for the next installment of the Simian Monologues your wait is over. As usual my other life has taken over for a little while and this blog, and my reading of other people’s blogs, has needed to take a back seat to other less amusing topics. The problem that arises out of this absence of blogging activity is that the build up of bullshit in my brain is so high that I struggle to focus on a single idea for a single cohesive post and getting started again is difficult. Instead this week I have decided to release the bullshit valve a little more than usual and get some of these childish ideas out of my head and hopefully get myself back into a more controlled release of bullshit.
So much has happened in the last few weeks, April Fools included, but I will at least narrow down my focus to the always amusing North Korean Kim Yong Un and his recent antics. So without further adieu here is a raw stream of nonsense to hopefully amuse you or more than likely completely alienate you.
North Korean Rocket Goes South
Millions express their distress at Ape’s cheesy headline and refute Ape’s claim that surely other’s must have already published this appalling headline somewhere else.
Kim Yong Un Threatens Western World With Giant Nuclear Fortune Cookie Over Inaccurate North Korean Racial Stereotypes
Ok Ape, I am holding my hands together like you asked. Hey wait a minute. Hey Ape, don’t think I won’t go crazy Kung Fu on your poorly researched blogging ass.
North Korean Army Taken By Surprise As Invading Army Approach From Behind Defeating Years Of Single Direction Parade Formation Training
Why is Commander Yong Un shouting “Behind you!” like a kids puppet show? More importantly, are you wearing make up General Lee?
Young 1985 Kim Travels To Future To Destroy Sports Almanac Brought Back By Future 2015 Kim. Fails To Get Rocket To 88 Miles An Hour
2015 Kim : This book will tell you the winners for all major North Korean sporting events from 1950 until 2000. You can’t go wrong.
1955 Kim : But I already control the winners for all major North Korean sporting events. Is there a shortage of fabric in the future that means you need to combine a business shirt with a suit jacket into a ridiculous single garment old man?
Kim Yong Un Rehearses Handshake Prior To Upcoming Diplomatic Meetings With Significantly Taller Western Leaders
“Alright Kim, you know you can do this. So I smile politely, raise my hand to meet his lowered hand, look him straight in the eye, and ignore the temptation to quickly pull him closer and head butt him square in the castanets.”
Alright, let’s close off that valve now and allow the Ape to catch up on some serious blog reading. The question is do I commence reading newest posts first or oldest posts first …
Not sure if this going to hold very well boss but I guess it will have to do. I can still see a small leak concerning Richard Dawkins and Archbishop George Pell debating that if the T- Rex had absurdly small hands but also in stark contrast stupidly large feet what could be deduced about the size of his male member. The leak seems to have stopped now. We’re all good.