Pennies From Heaven

Pope Benedict XVI has been forced to defend allegations of money laundering along with other dubious fiscal activities after a series of internal documents leaked to an Italian journalist were made public. The documents detailed internal conflicts among senior clergy and made direct reference to the Church’s attempts to comply with international money laundering regulations. In a official statement to the media, Pope Benedict had the following to say.

“The allegations of financial misconduct are not true. When it comes to matters of believing in these things one must not make the mistake of taking personal accounts made by religious individuals as Gospel. One can only imagine what absurd reality we would live in if everyone believed everything they read just because it was produced by a significant religious identity. That is a leap of faith I am sure no one is willing to make.”

Pope Benedict then spun around quickly, produced a dove from within the folds of his robes, and disappeared in a flash of blinding light and smoke. All in attendance agreed it was an unnecessary but a kick ass exit.

Way to go Mandrake. Do you realize the significance of throwing a lion to a Christian?


About Ape No. 1

This famous lowland gorilla was born on July 4, 1971, in San Francisco. He was a gorilla who mastered over 2,000 words in American Blog Language, allowing him to communicate with humans in an astounding way. Some people felt that he was simply making blogs without understanding their real meanings, in order to receive treats and rewards from his readers.
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11 Responses to Pennies From Heaven

  1. List of X says:

    The Pope can do his money laundering with the Holy Water and that will render his money completely clean

    • Ape No. 1 says:

      Either that or someone will find him in a pool of holy water dissolved up to his knees crying out, “Look what you’ve done!! I’m melting, melting. Ohhhhh, what a world, what a world.” (queue obligatory Louis Armstrong song at this point)

      • HoaiPhai says:

        Have you ever seen the Fistful of Yen segment of the early Abrahams, Zucker, and Zucker film “The Kentucky Fried Movie”? There’s an homage to the “what a world scene”… the whole segment is great!

    • Ape No. 1 says:

      I need to work out how to give people a star somehow for comment of the week. This was a classic ListOfX. Quite often the funniest bits of the post occur in the comments below.

  2. He’s a one isn’t he old Benny.

  3. HoaiPhai says:

    It’s hard to trace all that cash coming in every Sunday from the collection plates. Maybe the government tax collectors should make that illegal and have The Vatican set up a traceable paper-trail worldwide religious donation network called Pontiff Pal.

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