Fossil Fuel Generation Is Sleeping With The Fishes

Italian authorities have raided and seized a Mafia owned wind farm after government officials were alerted to a number of irregular activites by the fictitious shell company that the wind farm had been operating under. The wind facility was thought to be one of the largest operating wind farms in Europe supplying energy to over 15,000 household and local commercial buildings. In Italy, the utilities space is a heavily regulated business and clear laws and governed practices exist to ensure that the companies involved operate as deemed appropriate by the Italian government. The Italian Minister of Economic Development, Infrastructures, and Transports, Corrado Passera, made the following statement.

“I can officially confirm that as of yesterday the Italian government has taken ownership of a wind farm which has been operating under a shell company secretly owned by mafia boss, Pasquale Arena, of the Ndrangheta clan. Our investigations have revealed an organization dominated by good business practices, fair and ethical treatment of employees and customers, and a quality of energy supply second to none. We have found no evidence of bribery, stand over tactics, or even any hints of dubious tax manipulations by the Mafia run organization which has left us with little choice but to seize and shut down the entire operation as it is in breach of nearly all guidelines as defined by our government.”

A seized document showing a clear understanding of energy generation and distribution in the wind power business. Arena insisted that it had been planted by the police during the raid at his alleged six-sigma certified offices.

Business owner and mafia boss, Pasquale Arena, has denied all allegations of rightdoing stating that he was able provide clear evidence of his team participating in a number of illicit activites but needed some more time to build his case and hopefully convince authorities to give him back control of his wind farm. Authorities were less than convinced as damning videos were seized in the raid depicting disturbing scenes of friendly customer phone support interactions, posters in the office highlighting health and safety iniatives, and conversations during boardroom meetings where senior management were clearly heard in the recordings to be discussing options to provide better value to their customers.

Pasquale Arena being led away after the raid on his wind farm. Police shockingly claimed that not only did he come quietly but at no point during the arrest did he try to shake either officers hand with a folded up €100 note in is own hand.

The case is set to be heard in two weeks time at the Italian Supreme Court of Cassation, but a transcript of the hearing can already be downloaded from the Supreme Court's website for those who can not wait until the hearing itself to discover the final verdict.


About Ape No. 1

This famous lowland gorilla was born on July 4, 1971, in San Francisco. He was a gorilla who mastered over 2,000 words in American Blog Language, allowing him to communicate with humans in an astounding way. Some people felt that he was simply making blogs without understanding their real meanings, in order to receive treats and rewards from his readers.
This entry was posted in Satire and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Fossil Fuel Generation Is Sleeping With The Fishes

  1. HoaiPhai says:

    The carabinieri should have been tipped off when this “wind farm” ordered three dozen sets of thirty-foot blades from an unnamed food processor manufacturer. The Italian authorities are literally sifting through the soil downwind of the turbines looking for clues (and former known associates).

    Another great scoop, Ape!

  2. Ape No. 1 says:

    I wish I would have had time last week to do a follow up given the later arrest of the Mozarella King in similar circumstances.

    Sometimes reality is the best creator of satire.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s