Government officials from Namibia, considered one of the driest countries in Africa, are celebrating the discovery of a large ancient underground water reservoir. Namibia currently sources much of it's water from remote water supplies delivered by canal but this discovery has the potential of Namibia becoming self sufficient for at the least the next 400 years. The Namibian government has already secured a deal with a corporate partner to help with the logistics of accessing and distributing the new water supply to it's 2.1 million citizens. President Hifikepunye Pohamba announced Coca Cola as the organization that would be given exclusive access to the water supply to take ownership of the delicate process of drilling, extraction, and conversion of the tasteless 10,000 year old liquid to something infinitely more palatable and fit for human consumption such as Fanta, Vanilla Diet Coke, or the awesome Full Throttle energy drink.
The partnership between Namibia and Coca Cola will provide the thirsty nation with their own much needed personal passport to refreshment and perhaps access to live but heavily caffeine buzzed animal and bird life.
Coca Cola have announced that all Namibian residents will receive a 5% discount on purchases of twenty four cans or more, approximately two weeks salary for an average household, of any Coca Cola branded soft drink. In addition to this generous offer they will be opening up Coca Cola themed water parks at the five different drilling locations to ensure that any excess water not used in the manufacturing process is not wasted and is put to good use. Coca Cola were quick to point out that the pristine clear excess waters will not have been treated with the trademarked Coca Cola soft drink process so it did not recommend simply drinking the water from the water park fountains but instead recommended purchasing a can or bottle of soft drink from one of the many vending machines that will be littered around the water parks.
Namibians have been warned against the dangers of drinking the unprocessed waters from ther water parks but have assured concerned potential visitors that a spectrum of swagger bringing sugary beverages will be available for purchase from a bevy of vending machines.
Locals are understandably excited about the deal between the government and Coca Cola as too long have they been forced to endure a dry and arid existence without the sweet effervescent satisfaction of a diuretics infused soft drink and kick ass jungle animal themed 30 foot high water slide park.
“I have been unable to offer my family the cold, crisp taste of Coke nor the thrills of a 30 foot high water slide and this has weighed heavily on me as a husband and father. I only hope that now my family can finally live on the Coke side of life.”