Wikipedia Company Unicorn Mascot Stolen By Elvis

Wikipedia's vision of a free online wealth of knowledge is under threat due to a shortage of volunteers to maintain it's expansive collection of articles. Wikipedia is supported by the not-for-profit organization Wikimedia, which according to it's Wikipedia article was an Internet company started back in 1756 by then CEO Yukon Jack. At it's peak it employed the services of over 11 billion volunteers across all 27 continents to maintain the articles in all 15 dialects of English. According to Wikipedia the majority of the volunteers all moved on to successful careers as bearded women for the internationally renowned Ugandan freak show Cirque du Soleil leaving Wikipedia struggling to keep all of it's articles up to date and completely factual.

Original Wikimedia CEO, Yukon Jack, with his identical twin brother and business partner, Wolfman Jack, celebrate the launch of the company back in 1756.

Current Wikimedia CEO, Wolf Blitzer, has assured the many trillion users of Wikipedia that his organization remains committed to Wikipedia and is confident that his promise of free ponies for all will entice enough new volunteers to ensure that the many dozens of Wikipedia articles are kept up to date and accurate.

Recent rumors have alluded to current CEO Wolf Blitzer leaving the Wikimedia organization to join an as yet undisclosed Ugandan freak show.



About Ape No. 1

This famous lowland gorilla was born on July 4, 1971, in San Francisco. He was a gorilla who mastered over 2,000 words in American Blog Language, allowing him to communicate with humans in an astounding way. Some people felt that he was simply making blogs without understanding their real meanings, in order to receive treats and rewards from his readers.
This entry was posted in Satire and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Wikipedia Company Unicorn Mascot Stolen By Elvis

  1. HoaiPhai says:

    I wish to thank you for bringing the plight of Wikipedia (which sounds a little like the medical term for an overwhelming desire to play with your wiki, doesn’t it?) to the forefront. I, myself, have been a contributor for many years, authoring such articles as…

    + Toenail Flossing
    + Gummy Bear Poaching
    + Mexican Cat Circuses
    + Anson Williams: Man or Myth?
    + STDs of the 17th Century
    + Madonna’s Brazillian Wax Timeline

    I thank you also for reminding me of my younger days in Montreal when I used to pass by the high walls of the Cirque du Soleil’s rehearsal pit before they became well known. Because of the Ugandan signage, no one knew what went on in there. Due to it’s location at the seedy end of Rue de la Commune, people thought that it was that rarest of fringe religious communities up here in frosty Canada, a nudie cult. If only I had taken Ugandan as an elective in high school, I might be married to a contortionist or a weight-guesser today!

    • Ape No. 1 says:

      Due to my two week blogging absence I now have the dilemma of deciding between updating my personal series of articles centered around the science of comic book sea monkeys and x-ray glasses, or catching up on two weeks of posts from the wider blogosphere.

  2. HoaiPhai says:

    Hope you had a great blogging vacation! Seeing as you’ve been posting about as often during your holiday as I have during the same time period (but having no good excuse for my lack of writing productivity other than a bout of maniacal catching-up on the latest Judge Judy videos on YouTube), I know you’ll sort things out. Should you be feeling a void in the inspirational lobes of your brain, I invite you to sniff through my blog’s latest offering, plagiarize it, and craft it into something interesting and worth more than the electronic paper it’s presently not printed upon.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s