Will Assange Be Evicted From The UK Big Brother House?


The world is awaiting the reappearance of Julian Assange who has not been seen for almost two months since he first entered the Ecuadorian embassy in the UK seeking political asylum. The Ecuadorian President, Rafael Correa, announced that his government would be granting Assange political asylum as the US would not formally rule out pursuing Assange once he was extradited to Sweden. The embassy has been making some accommodations for Julian Assange by installing a shower and also by having numerous other requests for items such as pizzas sent to the embassy.

UK officials are keen to see Julian Assange in person and not be fooled by the controversial body double switch tactics as used by prominent figures in China who are forced to stand trial. The image above is one of few in existence that shows an elusive Assange with one of his many body doubles.

Correa had the following to say on the support being given to Assange.

“Mr Assange has been a guest in our embassy for close to two months now and obviously we have felt it important to ensure he remains well cared for and his rights respected. Two months is a long time for someone to be confined to a single location and we hope these small accommodations are making his stay appropriately comfortable and dignified. To put this duration into perspective here are some examples of activities that could be done within a period of two months. One could use a small excavator to tunnel a hole from a large building in the city to a more discreet location just near a metro entrance further up the road. One could send a continual stream of helmeted pizza delivery drivers to a house, make it such a common occurrence, that complacent observers would not even notice if an extra pizza delivery scooter happened to leave that house. The list of activities one could do is endless.”

Rafael Correa's 1994 Miss Ecuador victory has taken him all the way to the top job in Ecuador. His love of horse riding and long walks along the beach will be invaluable when he sits down with US and UK representatives to discuss the applicability of Assange's asylum agreement.

The following are some of items that have been delivered to the Ecuadorian embassy during Julian Assange's stay.

  • 50 x Pizzas
  • 1 x Full size Trojan piñata
  • 10 x Pantomime horse costumes
  • 3 x Lucius Malfoy costumes
  • 2 x Lucius Malfoy wigs
  • 1 x John Deere commercial mini excavator
  • 1 x Dissappearing girl magic kit
  • 1 x Home Alone DVD

The Ecuadorian embassy hopes to make the stay for Assange as comfortable as is practically possible given the current circumstances.

In related news Mitt Romney has stated that if he were in power his government would impose sanctions against Ecuadorial Guinea over the Julian Assange affair. He was also overhead discreetly asking Rafael Correa what the tax rate on foreign investments was in Ecuadorial Guinea.


About Ape No. 1

This famous lowland gorilla was born on July 4, 1971, in San Francisco. He was a gorilla who mastered over 2,000 words in American Blog Language, allowing him to communicate with humans in an astounding way. Some people felt that he was simply making blogs without understanding their real meanings, in order to receive treats and rewards from his readers.
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6 Responses to Will Assange Be Evicted From The UK Big Brother House?

  1. He’ll have a leak and escape via the toilet.

  2. And to think I invited that Julian Assange impersonator to my party. He had me fooled.

  3. HoaiPhai says:

    “Trojan” piñata… is that the equine model or the one shaped like a rubber Julian?

    I was told by Assange in the strictest confidence (so I’m telling you) that he has also gotten tips on hiding in full garbage cans from Oscar the Grouch. Word of that ruse must have gotten out because the British cops have been keeping tabs on all unusual purchases of green shag toilet seat cover material.

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