So Long Pope And Thanks For All The …um… Popey Stuff

Shareholders have expressed relief at the sudden resignation of Pope Benedict who many felt was directly responsible for company stocks falling dramatically due to a range of controversies ranging from financial corruption through to sexual crime coverups. It all began when the CEO of Christianity, Jesus H. Christ, decided to participate in the upcoming episode of “Undercover Boss” in order to see first hand the management debacle unfolding in the organisation's Earth division. As a result of various discoveries during the filming of the show the Pope felt it appropriate that he relinquish his post as head of the Earth division and stood himself down immediately.

Christ was forced to raise himself from his office again and pay a second visit to the Earth division in as little as 2000 years.

The show, airing this Monday night on “The Learning Channel”, shows a heavily disguised J. Christ working at various locations of the the Christian Earth division mingling and discussing company challenges with other employees. Nearly all of the employees paint a picture of a division drunk on power, disconnected to reality, and embarrassingly low on wine and fish stocks in the cafeterias.

Mr Christ employed a variety of elaborate disguises which allowed him to blend into the wider organisation and led to numerous employees sharing information that they would not have disclosed had they known his true identity.

In the middle of the episode it is clear that Jesus is having doubts about whether he can trust a local management team and is forced to make a tough decision for the good of the whole organisation. The decision that he finally makes will shock the entire organisation to it's core and will change the face of the Earth division forever. The Pope's departure is one consequence but it is only the start of a deeply impacting organisational evolutionary journey that Jesus will set in motion.

A pensive CEO wonders how the Earth management team managed to get it so wrong and in so many different facets of the running of the business. A business borne from his literal blood, sweat, and tears teeters close to collapse.

Tune in to the show to hear all of the controversy and to also see the magic moment when Jesus finally reveals his true identity to the employees and management team and unveils himself as the Undercover Boss.

A employee embraces Jesus after learning that his work colleague of the past two weeks, Randy Macho Man Savage, is actually the CEO and that he will be receiving eternal forgiveness and a two person jet ski.

——————– BONUS BULLSHIT ——————

Ape likes to find random images for his random posts and quite often they do not get to make the final cut but I thought this one, resembling a six year old Pope sitting on the shoulders of another hidden six year old Pope in an adult jacket, was worth adding as bonus content. I am sure an aging Pontiff's face suddenly appearing from the crotch area of the jacket would add a little spice to proceedings. Enjoy.

Is he man or a muppet? I guess we will never know.

 

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About Ape No. 1

This famous lowland gorilla was born on July 4, 1971, in San Francisco. He was a gorilla who mastered over 2,000 words in American Blog Language, allowing him to communicate with humans in an astounding way. Some people felt that he was simply making blogs without understanding their real meanings, in order to receive treats and rewards from his readers.
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8 Responses to So Long Pope And Thanks For All The …um… Popey Stuff

  1. Jesus is a toughy alright!

  2. Le Clown says:

    Ape,
    White Baby Jesus wants me to tell you that you have a place in Heaven.
    Le Clown

  3. List of X says:

    Yes, church is way overdue for a re-organization, though as many highly profitable businesses it’s very resistant to change.

    • Ape No. 1 says:

      I think there will be a lot of efficiencies to be found in the Church’s middle management but as usual the head office will be too forgiving and no one is ever actually let go.

  4. HoaiPhai says:

    Rumour has it that The (former) Pope’s resignation was somewhat “encouraged”. Allegedly the Pontif was caught one time too many updating his Facebook status while on the company clock and he had the choice of getting fired or resigning with a little dignity and a passible letter of reference to help him get another job. He has spent a good chunk of change re-blocking his skullcaps for a couple of interviews for rabbi jobs but it seems that right now only Islam is hiring.

    • Ape No. 1 says:

      I hear it is easier to grind those skull caps into a nice pair of pointy horns but I am pretty sure that News Corp currently has a hiring freeze in place.

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