North Korean authorities have had to make an awkward apology to the US government after discovering a rogue weather reporter on a local cable network had been recording and sending footage of himself purporting to be the glorious leader of the large Asian nation and threatening global war. The head of the local cable network disclosed that the crackpot meteorologist had been sneaking into the studios late at night with a small group of accomplices and using the green screen facilities to depict images of himself riding in tanks, pointing at stuff, and leading vast military parades.
The now dismissed employee of the North Korean cable channel had been creating elaborate scenes of himself as the glorious leader and had even scripted himself to get married to a well known female pop star.
President Barack Obama, who had fallen for the ruse, was relieved to discover that the war mongering talk that he had thought was genuine was actually just the ramblings of a lowly weather reporter living out his dreams of world domination via the magic of the green screen. Obama had his staff send the individual a White House cap and a blue ray copy of Avatar which …
APE … APE … WAKE UP APE … WAKE UP!!
Ape was having a horrible nightmare that there was a nut job in charge of North Korea who was egging on the world to a nuclear fist fight. What? He's not just a weather reporter? Son of a …
In other Ape news …
Ape was going to wax lyrical about how poor a rewards and recognition program Canonisation is based on the fact that you need to be dead and also an amateur magician with two demonstrated tricks to be eligible but it is getting late and Ape is tired. Instead here are some pics that were going to be part of that mad ramble. Feel free to make up your own post in your head to go with these images. I am sure it will be better than what Ape would have written.
“I don't think casual pizza Fridays is the hit I was expecting it to be. Hey who called me a tosser? Oh, dough tosser.”
“Well, I would love to recognise you for your performance but there is the matter of your still heart beating that can not be overlooked”
“And then he made mention of my still beating heart. What? That's just company policy? Jesus Christ! Sorry, I didn't actually mean you sir.”
Well done Ape you half arsed blogger.